Tag Archives: Literature

Today I sat and write…

What is I?  if I am made of love?  Would you believe I am or perhaps I am of light?  My mind soars into confusion like I’m inside a waterspout of my own illusion.  Why would i want to be here?

Is this fiction or real?  Is this my imagination or something I wish is?  I have never known ascension but I am in the clouds.  All I see is the sky–I’m in the sky.  Like in Jack and the Beanstalk, I am up above in the sky.  Did I climb or was I carried by the growing giant tree?

Am I happy?  I don’t know…  But I do like to explore so my mind is away from all the worries…

Why was I here?  Am I escaping from love or am I afraid to lose my childhood realm?  My love is always with me, whether I’m alone or just plain with him going wherever.  But why am I here?

Do you ever wonder like this?  They say pure thoughts is mathematics.  Is this that realm?

I cannot hold on to the roots of the underworld.  Would I rather be in this place or worry about the everyday I used to do?  How can I ever show this world?  It is something I have created.  It is something I am not afraid of and sometimes doubt if it is real.

Where is this place in the world?  It is not there.  It is something beyond.  It is in my mind.  The playground of my mind.

Masaya ako at nakaboto ako.

Ang naging desisyon ko sa pagpili ng mga kandidatong aking binoto noong nakaraang eleksyon noong Mayo 13, 2013 dito sa Pilipinas ay sa aking tingin ay susuportahan ang Pangulo sa kanyang mga adhikain.  Kung kaya’t ang aking mga binoto ay mga nasa partido ng Pangulo.

Naging kilala ang pulitika ng bansa bilang madumi at watak-watak.  Walang pagkakaisa.

Makailang beses na akong gustong mawalan ng pag-asa ngunit aking napagtanto na kahit mahirap, alam kong ang pag-asa ay nasa sa akin at sa bawat indibidwal na tunay na minamahal ang bansa.

Hindi ko man sila kilala at ang iba naman ay aking nakilala ngunit katulad ko ay nawawalan ng pag-asa, nagpapasalamat ako at alam kong di ako nag-iisa.

Para sa akin, bilang isang mamamayan ng bansa na may demokratikong pamamahala, ang Pangulo na siyang itinuturing na simbolo ng ating karapatang mamili ng ating tunguhin bilang isang nasyon ay sing sagrado ng batas.  Para sa akin, sa pamamagitan lamang nito uunlad ang ekonomiya—iisa ang wika ng Pangulo at ng batas.

Ang Pangulo ay nararapat na marunong sa batas, magaling magwika sa pambansang lenggwahe, may paninindigan sa kayamanan at kaugalian ng bansa—kahit pa magkaroon siya ng kaaway sa loob at labas ng kanyang pamamahala.

Ang kasalukuyang Pangulo ay malapit sa ganitong karakter na aking inilalarawan.  Siya na ang pinakamalapit sa pagtataguyod ng pambansang kaunlaran.  Ako ay naniniwala na ang lupon ng mamamayan na marunong magmahal sa sariling wika na hindi ito ikinakahiyang i-wika ng tuwid at may taos-pusong paggamit lalo na sa literatura at malayang pananalita, ito ang mahalagang sangkap ng maituturing na pag-unlad at pagkakaisa ng mamamayan.

At kung kaya’t ang aking pinili sa aking pagboto ay ang mga kaalyado ng Pangulo.  Ibinigay ko ang aking tiwala sa kanila sapagkat ako ay may tiwala sa aking sarili.  Sa pagtugon sa aking obligasyon bilang isang mamamayan ng bansa, ako ay bumoto para sa aking kapakanan.

Wala na akong masisisi pa.  Ginawa ko ang aking bahagi bilang isang mamamayan.  At naniniwala ako na ang isang mabuting tagasunod ay lumilikha ng mabuting tagapamahala.

 

English

I am so happy that I have voted.

The decision I’ve made as to the candidates I chose to vote last elections on May 13, 2013 here in the Philippines is the ones I think will support the President in his endeavors.  That is why those I voted were in the political party of the President.

Politics in the Philippines was known to be dirty and divided.  There is no unity.

Many times that I wanted to just lose hope but I realized that even if it is difficult, I know that hope is in me and in every individual who truly love the country.

I may not know them or the others, I have met but like me, they too are losing hope, I am thankful that I know I am not alone.

For me, as a citizen of a democratic nation, the President who is considered to be a symbol of our right to choose where we wanted to head as a nation is as sacred as the law.  For me, only through this that our economy will achieve progress—the language of the President and the law are one.

The President must know the law, can communicate fluently using the national language, and has the tenacity to stand up for the wealth and traditions of the country—regardless of whether he may incur enemies inside and outside of his leadership.

The current President is close to this character that I describe.  He is already the closest to the building of national development.  I believe that a group of people who loves their own mother tongue and who are not ashamed to speak straight and whole-heartedly use it in literature and free speech, this is a very important ingredient of what you may consider as progress and unity of the people.

That is why those I chose to vote are allies of the President.  I gave them my trust because I have trust in myself.  By doing my obligation as a citizen of the country, I voted for my well-being.

I no longer have anyone to be blamed.  I did my part as a citizen.  And I believe that a good follower makes a good leader.

Bakit Ako Nag-blog?

Inspirasyon

Filipino

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagsusulat basta’t ginawa ko lamang.  Sa bawat artikulo na aking ilagay ang aking husay sa pagsusulat, may natutuklasan ako sa aking sarili.  Para bagang ipinakikita nito kung ano ako noon, kung ano ako ngayon at kung ano ako nagiging.

Gayon, ang temang, Takip-silim hanggang bukang-liwayway….

English

Why Did I Blog?

I don’t know why I write but I just did.  With every article I put my writing skills into, I discover something about myself.  It seems it reveals who I had been, who I am and who I am becoming.

Thus, the theme, Dusk to dawn…

Weekly Writing Challenge: Paano ako magpapaalam?

Ang larawan ay mula kay Cheri Lucas.

Filipino

Ito ang una kong naisip.

May dalawang bagay na maaari mong gawin kung ikaw ay lilisan: una, lumisan ng hindi mo hinarap ang iyong mga minamahal na iyong iiwanan; pangalawa, harapin ng buong tapang ang lungkot na iyong mararamdaman kung ikaw ay haharap sa iyong mga minahal bago mo sila iwan.

Para sa akin, parehong kailangan ng tapang rito.  Ang posibilidad sa maaaring mangyari kung ikaw ay magpaalam at hindi magpaalam ay walang hanggan.  Ngunit kung ano man ang iyong piliin, hahayo ka ng may lungkot at alam mong magpakailanman, dala-dala mo ang ligaya na nakapiling mo sila.

Sa buhay, hindi mo alam kung kalian ka hahayo kung minsan.  Alam mo man, hindi mo mawari kung ito ba ay tamang panahon.  Ngunit kapag nagdesisyon ka na humayo, ihanda mo ang iyong sarili sa isang emosyonal na sitwasyon.

Sa larawang ito hindi ko alam kung ang mga karakter ay nagpapaalam o sumalubong sa pagdating.  Sabihin nating nagpapaalamanan ang magkasintahan…

Ramdam ko ang pangungulila nila habang sila ay magkayakap.  Sa pagdating ng maliit na tren at pagbaba ng mga pasahero, kaunting oras na lamang ang nalalabi sa kanilang yakap.  Sa gitna ng hagdan na iyon, nagugunita kong halos nagmarka ang kanilang mga paa at inilagay sa loob ng ginuhit na puso ng isang anghel  sa kongkretong makinis na guhit-guhit na sahig na iyon.

Sa tingin ko ay lagi kong maaalala ang magkasintahan na ito sa bawat pagkakataon na aking mararaanan ang hagdanang iyon kung ako man ay sakaling nakatira doon.  At sa bawat tao na mapapadaan sa hakbang na kung saan magkayakap ang magkasintahan habang nagpapaalam sa isa’t isa ay pakiramdam kong mararamdaman rin nila ang pagmamahal  roon na minarka ng dalawa.  Isang enerhiya na kailanman ay hindi na maaalis pa roon.

Natatandaan kong hindi ako marunong magpaalam.  Lagi na lamang ako umaalis ng hindi ko binibigyang pansin ang paraan ng aking pagpapaalam.  Ang lagi ko lamang nasa isip ay umalis at maging masaya kung saan man ako pupunta.

Hindi ko binibigyang halaga kung ano man ang maramdaman ng mga taong iiwan ko.  Maaaring iniisip ko lamang ang aking sarili ngunit sa likod ng aking isip, gusto kong maunawaan ng mga tao sa aking paligid kung gaano ako kasaya kapag lumilisan at papunta sa panibagong lugar na hindi ko inda kung ano man ang naghihintay sa akin roon.  Basta’t alam ko lamang na puno ng ligaya ang aking katauhan kapag ako ay maglalakbay sa bagong lugar.

Hindi ko alam ang damdamin ng isang magulang o isang kaibigan o kapatid na pakiramdam na mawawalan sila ng isang kasama.  Pagkat para sa akin, hindi ko naman sila nililisan.  Pupunta lamang ako sa panibagong lugar at magiging masaya na mamumuhay roon.  Hindi ko naiisip na maaaring huli na naming pagkikita o matagal kaming di magkikita.  Sa totoo lamang, sa aking loob, “eh ano naman kung matagal tayong magkita?  Ang mahalaga, nilakbay natin ang gusto nating marating.  Alam kong magkikita pa ring muli tayo kung ito ang ipinagkaloob sa atin.”

Kung kaya’t kahit sino man ang umalis sa aking paligid patungo sa malayong lugar, tinatanggap ko.  Napakasaya na umalis ng dala-dala ang araw.  Ang isa kung saan wala kang inaalala, basta’t ang alam mo lamang gusto mong pumunta doon at may isa kang misyon na gagawin.

Napakaikli at napakahaba ng buhay.  Laging magkasama ang kontradiksyon sa buhay ngunit mamimili ka lamang ng isa sa bawat minuto at sandali na mabigyan ka ng pagkakataong mapag-isipan.  Napakaikli dahil hindi mo alam kung kalian ka mamamatay, basta’t alam mo lamang hanggang 100 taon lamang ang maaaring itagal ng tao ngayon kung ikaw ay palarin na umabot pa sa taong iyon.  Napakahaba naman kung gusto mo ng mamatay.

Sabi nga nila, maikli lamang ang buhay sa mga taong masaya; napakahaba nito sa taong di masaya.

Aaminin ko, minsan, ayaw kong nakakakita ng pagpapaalam.    Ayaw kong nakakakita ng emosyonal na sitwasyon.  Naiinis ako.  Hindi ko alam kung nakuha ko ito sa aking ama o talagang ganito lamang ako.

Natatandaan ko nung bata pa ako, hindi ako mahilig magpaalam sa bahay.  Tumatakas ako o basta na lamang umaalis lagi papunta sa barkada o kung saan mang gusto kong puntahan.  Di rin ako tatawag kung gagabihin ako o di makakauwi kung inabot na ako ng hating gabi.  Ang alam ko lamang ay uuwi din ako kaagad.  Ayaw ko kasi ng marami pang sinasabi.  Ayaw ko ng walang tiwala sa akin na kaya kong pangalagaan ang aking sarili, mag-ingat at uuwi ako.

Lagi ko ring nasa isip na ang mga magulang ko ay nandyan lamang.  Ang aking mga kaibigan at kapatid ay nandyan lamang.  Kung kaya’t nang namatay ang aking matalik na kaibigan, hindi ko malaman kung ano na ang reyalidad.  Nabuhay ako na lagi lamang silang nariyan.

Doon ko lamang nalaman na namamatay pala talaga ang tao.  Ngunit pakiramdam ko buhay pa rin siya ngunit wala nga lang dito.  Tuloy pa rin ang buhay dahil di ko pa panahon na pumunta sa ibang dimensyon.  Pinili ng aking espiritu na manatili pa dito sa mundong ito.

Naisip ko, may misyon pa ako.  Maaaring ang pagpapakamatay ng aking matalik na kaibigan ay may kinalaman sa misyong ito.

Hindi siya nagpaalam sa akin o sa amin na pamilya at kaibigan niya.  Naisip ko, ilang beses na siyang nagtatangkang magpaalam bago noon, di lang niya magawa.  Ang hirap magpaalam…

Humanga ako sa kanyang tapang.  Simula pa lamang noon, yung tapang niya ang aking nagustuhan kung bakit kami naging magkaibigan.  Mga babae kaming matapang, parang lalaki pero malakas ang likas na pagiging ina o mapagkalinga.

Ngayon, ang aking pasya ay kahit ano pa man ang mangyari, sisiguraduhin ko na mauunawaan ng mga taong nasa paligid ko ang aking mga desisyon sa paglisan dahil mahilig akong maglakbay.  Buong tapang kong haharapin ang lungkot at saya ng paglisan at pagpapaalam .  Salamat larawan.

***

English

How will I say goodbye?

This is the first thing I thought of.

There are two ways you can say goodbye: one, leave without meeting the ones you’ve grown to love; two, face with might the sadness you’ll feel when you meet the people you love before you leave them.

For me, both require courage.  The possibilities of what might happen when you do or don’t say goodbye are endless.  But whatever you choose, you will leave with sadness for sure and forever, you’re going to carry with you the happiness of having been with them.

In life, you don’t know when will you leave at times.  If you do, you don’t even know for sure if it’s the right time.  But if you do decide to leave, prepare yourself to an emotional situation.

In this photo, I don’t know if the characters are saying goodbye or saying hello.  But let’s just say, this couple is saying goodbye…

I feel the loneliness they feel while they are hugging each other.  As the train arrives and the passengers alight, only a few moments are now left for their embrace.  In the middle of those stairs, I imagine their feet almost engraved and put inside a drawing of a heart by an angel in those concrete smooth jagged floor.

I think I’ll always remember this couple whenever I pass by those stairs if I happen to live there.  And for every person who will also pass by in that step where the couple embraced dearly while they say goodbye, I feel like they will also feel the love left by the couple on that spot.  An energy that will remain there forever.

I remember I don’t know how to say goodbye.  I always leave without care with how I say goodbye.  The only thing on my mind is to leave and be happy to where I’m going.

I don’t value the feelings of the people I’ll leave behind.  You may think that I’m selfish but subconsciously, I would like for people to understand how happy I am whenever I leave and go to a new place without regard for what may happen to me there.  All I know is that my whole being is filled with happiness to travel to a new place.

I don’t know the feelings of a parent, a friend or brother or sister who may feel that they are losing someone to be with.  Because for me, I’m not leaving them.  I’m just going to a new place and be happy living there.  I never think that it might be the last time we’ll see each other or it’ll take long before we see each other.  In truth, in my heart, “so what if we’ll not see each other for a long time?  What is important is that we traveled to the place where we want to go.  I know that we’ll see each other again if it is entrusted to us.”

That is why whoever leaves around me to go to a far place, I accept.  It is a very happy feeling to leave carrying the Sun.  One where you don’t worry, knowing only that you want to go to that place and you’ll do your mission there.

Life is too short and too long.  Contradictions are always part of life, always having two sides of the coin; you will only choose one whenever you give yourself the chance to think about it.  It is too short because you don’t know when are you going to die, all you know is that one may only reach until about 100 years old if you are lucky to reach those years.  It is too long for those who wanted to die already.

They say, life is too short for people who are happy; it is too long for those who are not happy.

I will admit, sometimes, I don’t want to see goodbyes.  I don’t want to see emotional situations.  I get irritated.  I don’t know if I got that from my father or I’m just like that.

I remember when I was young, I’m not used to telling people in our house if I’m leaving to go to some place.  I sneak out or I just leave to go to a friend’s house or wherever I want to go.  I will not also call if I’ll be late or if I won’t be able to go home if it’s really late.  I just know I’m still going home soon.  I don’t like too much talk.  I don’t like it when people don’t trust me that I can take care of myself, protect myself and I’ll go home.

All I know is that my parents are just there.  My friends and my brother and sisters are just there.  That is why when my best friend died, I didn’t know what is reality anymore.  I lived my whole life having them around.

That was the only time I learned that people really die.  But I know that she’s still alive, just not here.  Life still goes on because it is not yet my time to go to another dimension.  My spirit chose to still stay in this world.

I just thought, I still have a mission.  It may be that the suicide of my best friend has something to do with this mission.

She didn’t say goodbye to me or to her family and friends.  I thought, there were many times she tried to say goodbye before that, she just can’t do it.  It’s hard to say goodbye…

I admired her courage.  From the beginning, it was her courage that I liked that is why we became friends.  We are women who are courageous like men but have a strong mother instinct or caring quality.

Now, my choice is that no matter what happens, I’ll make sure that the people around me will understand the decisions I’ll make when I leave because I like traveling.  I’ll boldly face the sadness and joy of leaving and saying goodbye.  Thank you photo.